I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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