eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize