They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
