dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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