Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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