Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again

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  (650): apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again http://tfl.nu/fi23
  Replies (23) Good night (1324) Bad night (3681)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook

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  (716): I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook http://tfl.nu/bd4f
  Replies (8) Good night (3515) Bad night (660)
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  (315): View more from New York

  he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate

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  (315): he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate http://tfl.nu/wroe
  Replies (24) Good night (837) Bad night (5019)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!

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  (512): She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them! http://tfl.nu/ovo7
  Replies (20) Good night (6472) Bad night (1175)
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  (949): View more from California

  It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.

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  (949): It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his. http://tfl.nu/sru1
  Replies (5) Good night (2306) Bad night (889)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper

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  (720): me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling (303): Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper http://tfl.nu/d912
  Replies (3) Good night (2208) Bad night (920)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.

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  (570): I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison. http://tfl.nu/ax4a
  Replies (13) Good night (2460) Bad night (1411)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.

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  (850): Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either. http://tfl.nu/w5pa
  Replies (7) Good night (905) Bad night (2172)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.

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  (724): She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail. http://tfl.nu/o810
  Replies (13) Good night (629) Bad night (2672)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"

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  (937): She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!" http://tfl.nu/x0ik
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (355)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.

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  (904): At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed. http://tfl.nu/y86x
  Replies (5) Good night (276) Bad night (589)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You need a sexual gate keeper

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  (317): You need a sexual gate keeper http://tfl.nu/r2za
  Replies (7) Good night (684) Bad night (335)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...

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  (208): Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return... http://tfl.nu/xy3e
  Replies (5) Good night (642) Bad night (349)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.

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  (708): I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask. http://tfl.nu/zz6r
  Replies (7) Good night (1052) Bad night (407)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She shouldn't drink

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  (912): It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home (919): She shouldn't drink http://tfl.nu/4gbr
  Replies (9) Good night (429) Bad night (219)

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