So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings