Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.

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  (267): Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids. http://tfl.nu/vgjd
  Replies (33) Good night (5901) Bad night (1000)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.

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  (740): i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle. http://tfl.nu/qqa2
  Replies (26) Good night (1036) Bad night (2796)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad

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  (856): Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad http://tfl.nu/fp7i
  Replies (70) Good night (926) Bad night (3661)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket

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  (606): I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket http://tfl.nu/uu8e
  Replies (53) Good night (1083) Bad night (4522)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.

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  (253): For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard. http://tfl.nu/hy6n
  Replies (10) Good night (6729) Bad night (1184)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I in a dog kennel?

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  It was for your own safety

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  (803): Why am I in a dog kennel? (1-803): It was for your own safety http://tfl.nu/w7ni
  Replies (27) Good night (13385) Bad night (1711)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

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  (319): Heyyyy darlin are you busy? (1-319): Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night. http://tfl.nu/pwb0
  Replies (34) Good night (26061) Bad night (2062)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.

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  (804): she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs. http://tfl.nu/jax9
  Replies (34) Good night (5205) Bad night (6546)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you

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  (414): There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you http://tfl.nu/ku1m
  Replies (19) Good night (4784) Bad night (1236)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday

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  (703): My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday http://tfl.nu/7nrp
  Replies (4) Good night (3066) Bad night (813)
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  (760): View more from California

  drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care

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  (760): drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care http://tfl.nu/5385
  Replies (5) Good night (655) Bad night (974)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  50% drunk capacity currently

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  (402): 50% drunk capacity currently http://tfl.nu/1j9a
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (376)
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  (347): View more from New York

  in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!

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  (347): in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg! http://tfl.nu/xub1
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.

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  (404): I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week. http://tfl.nu/2i12
  Replies (6) Good night (646) Bad night (314)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay

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  (201): So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay http://tfl.nu/lyr5
  Replies (2) Good night (763) Bad night (234)

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