i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
