Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
