You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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