his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
