Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
