It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
