So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
