Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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