its not stalking. its research.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
