remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
