Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
