Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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