Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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