The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
