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• (916): View more from California

  Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice

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• (+44): View more from England

  Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,

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• (516): View more from New York

  I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog

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