Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.

(615): View more from Tennessee

That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right

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(513): Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner. (615): That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right http://tfl.nu/5ajr

Replies (15) Good night (2501) Bad night (640)
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(210): View more from Texas

life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.

(210): View more from Texas

i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.

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(210): life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass" (570): hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge. (210): i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you. http://tfl.nu/8941

Replies (23) Good night (5956) Bad night (2050)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.

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(404): I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head. http://tfl.nu/lfdj

Replies (104) Good night (18081) Bad night (1187)
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(607): View more from New York

since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.

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(607): since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket. http://tfl.nu/tn78

Replies (48) Good night (4868) Bad night (1126)
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(660): View more from Missouri

I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point

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(660): I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point http://tfl.nu/7cy0

Replies (30) Good night (1031) Bad night (4539)
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(231): View more from Michigan

I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence

(415): View more from California

shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.

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(231): I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence (415): shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy. http://tfl.nu/3ya6

Replies (12) Good night (8616) Bad night (1103)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.

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(717): Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated. http://tfl.nu/4rw5

Replies (7) Good night (1010) Bad night (1935)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.

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(609): I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception. http://tfl.nu/z6mj

Replies (13) Good night (1984) Bad night (1439)
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(979): View more from Texas

I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after

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(979): I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after http://tfl.nu/y0mb

Replies (8) Good night (4797) Bad night (869)
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(+79): View more from

You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win

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(+79): You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win http://tfl.nu/jmv2

Replies (4) Good night (1856) Bad night (537)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.

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(614): Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes. http://tfl.nu/ghhe

Replies (13) Good night (635) Bad night (2365)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.

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(203): I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed. http://tfl.nu/lxpv

Replies (10) Good night (922) Bad night (572)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?

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(201): Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion? http://tfl.nu/hwen

Replies (8) Good night (1154) Bad night (540)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...

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(417): I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him... http://tfl.nu/ae62

Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (846)
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(530): View more from California

She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.

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(530): She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes. http://tfl.nu/pzyk

Replies (2) Good night (1033) Bad night (311)

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