Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.