Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!

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  (412): Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it! http://tfl.nu/we6e
  Replies (24) Good night (4279) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

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  (917): Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties? http://tfl.nu/8a9h
  Replies (283) Good night (1354) Bad night (13583)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude i feel like shit

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  well u did eat a lot of play-doh

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  (412): dude i feel like shit (413): well u did eat a lot of play-doh http://tfl.nu/0jaq
  Replies (10) Good night (1870) Bad night (4665)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You guys make me sad

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You misspelled jealous there

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  (703): We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone. (540): You guys make me sad (703): You misspelled jealous there http://tfl.nu/wtst
  Replies (23) Good night (11850) Bad night (1505)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants

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  (807): he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants http://tfl.nu/ed98
  Replies (12) Good night (1839) Bad night (5765)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.

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  (917): She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter. http://tfl.nu/oq3f
  Replies (4) Good night (1160) Bad night (2779)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon

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  (210): i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon http://tfl.nu/oe7m
  Replies (4) Good night (1714) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.

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  (763): So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life. http://tfl.nu/7aby
  Replies (28) Good night (712) Bad night (4991)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick

  (305): View more from Florida

  I am very proud of your internet skills

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  (512): You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick (305): I am very proud of your internet skills http://tfl.nu/83rs
  Replies (2) Good night (1052) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper

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  (440): Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper http://tfl.nu/949l
  Replies (4) Good night (845) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy

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  (410): those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy http://tfl.nu/avdc
  Replies (2) Good night (965) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".

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  (928): It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams". http://tfl.nu/l9ee
  Replies (6) Good night (581) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.

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  (281): I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot. http://tfl.nu/j0eg
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  if not i want to bang those glasses off his face

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  (828): does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you? (828): if not i want to bang those glasses off his face http://tfl.nu/l0mr
  Replies (4) Good night (1440) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?

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  (713): Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why? http://tfl.nu/s3mv
  Replies (4) Good night (508) Bad night (291)

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