Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Nicole vs. Life
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
