yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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