I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
