More tranny stories later!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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