My nipple is on Facebook.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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