So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
