none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
