we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
