what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
