She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This is my gift to your gina
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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