It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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