So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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