had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
