You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
