Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
