Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
