YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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