He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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