My room smells like vodka and shame
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
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Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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