I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Randomize
