Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize