i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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