i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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