whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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