I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
