A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
