I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
