chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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