He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
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She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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