My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
