just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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