the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
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How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
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Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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