her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize