hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
