I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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