just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
