Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
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