Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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