He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
